Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives.

So I wrote on my previous blog post: “How am I going to build my castle?” 

It is not about if or when, it’s about HOW:

Attitude: How you can form the right attitude about yourself, your work and your priorities.

Goals: Goal setting and how you can set your goals.

Actions: How you can form and execute the process in order to get things done.

Let me tell you a true story:

One day, I met someone extraordinary.

I was by this time a team leader, working for a care agency then came a request from social services for me to start a new client package. As usual I went to see this new client, write the care plan, do the risk assessment and discuss any requirements. She was about my age and I immediately found this lady a very strong charismatic character, who was determined to improve her health.

Her condition had deteriorated as a result of her MS (multiple sclerosis). By the time I finished I realized that a strong empathy and admiration was growing inside me. I was about to leave but a final statement came from her:

“Nuno, one day I will walk again”.

Knowing how devastating MS can be I was surprised with that, but I responded with a strong conviction “I believe you will!”

A couple of months later while in the office I received a phone call and this lady was on the other end of the line: “Nuno, I need to talk to you”. Immediately I thought that something might be wrong but she reassured me that nothing was wrong she just needed to see me.

I left the office not knowing what I was going to face. I parked my car and headed towards her front door. As I approached it the door opened and I thought “maybe the cleaner is around”… as I was getting closer the door was now wide open and there she was… standing by the door…proudly standing, smiling and waving at me. I was so surprised and overjoyed I just stared at her:Image result for i will walk again


Just a week later the care package was suspended and she became again an independent lady.

This story is something that have inspired me throughout my years since then. Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives.

There she was, with the right positive attitude, knowing that goal setting is important when she said “I will walk again”. By saying that she tuned her mindset into positivity enabling her to take the actions needed to get her walking again.

But this example would be nothing if I wouldn’t share it with you. Millions of people look inside them and think “I can’t do it” and you know what? They are bloody right because everything is about that mindset. You’re right if you say “I can’t” but you’re also right when you say “I can”.

Chances are you’re more like I was, you have no clue what you want to do. I found my castle, I found my purpose in life, I became a support worker and later on a qualified Counsellor/Psychotherapist and a Life Coach.

My attitude: I CAN DO IT !

My goals: Helping people improve the quality of their lives.

Actions: Enrolling in a counselling course, becoming a better person, enabling to help others…I practice … I research … and I am constantly learning!

During my years of practice I saw the struggle nearly every adult goes through:

  • “What do I want to do with my life?”
  • “What am I passionate about?”
  • “What am I good at?”

I often get questions and receive emails from people in their 30s, 40s and 50s and 60s who still have no clue what they want to do with themselves. Image result for how to build my castle

Part of the problem is the lack of perception what is my “life purpose”. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. This is the same kind of nonsensical logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 7 (but only on Sundays or during new moons).

Here’s the reality: we only live on this earth for some undetermined period of time and during that time we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of these things are unimportant. The important things gives our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time. Some of them are urgent such as responding to a crisis. Some are not urgent like watching your best soap (you can watch it later) or not at all.

On my next blog post I will be I will bring some more clarity into this subject.

Author: Nuno Leitao

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